Slight Meltdown

So I know I don't generally get to personal on here with the ins and outs of everyday life, but in my vain attempts to actually blog, but here it goes.

So the other night, those of you who are on my friends list in facebook basically saw me "lose it" over recently trying to get a birthday party organized for my 2 youngest, who's birthdays are this month.

Generally, birthday's don't go well for us.

For starters, my oldest birthday is the end of November, which means we either are really close to the Thanksgiving holiday, or everything and everyone is getting ready for Christmas, or even just the weather is crappy and travel is impossible.

The two youngest I thought would always have it easier, but alas, no. Even with a spring/summer birthdays, we have the end of the school year, start of vacation, father's day, graduations and graduation parties and weddings to contend with. I almost think its worse my oldest, there seems more to fight against.

Add in that the holidays and kids birthdays are just another stinging reminder that my parents are no longer here with us to share the joy of birthdays and holidays and such, and I'm nearly reduced to tears.

and this week, I'm more hormonal then usually (ladies, I think you know what I mean here - BRING ON THE CHOCOLATE!)

So - WHY am I sharing all this on my blog... honestly - I don't know.

But i do know that the next morning, with the sun shining (even though it was only mid-50s - burr), i got most everything figured out. I think.

I still changed the date of the kids birthday party by 1 day, and hope my MIL can make it (she normally works Saturdays - but not always). And she's being just a peach and going to the toy store that is nearly 1 hour away from me to look for gifts i was hoping to get the kids but were out of stock online. (Marg, if you are reading this - *MUAH*)

For the paternal in-law side - we are suppose to all be gathering at my Bother-in_laws for 4th of July weekend, my SIL suggested rather then stress out - just do cake/ice cream/etc while were are there visiting anyways. Ok, no biggie. It's still on the weekend that our friend "Big Daddy" has off from work, so they are attending, and i even got a place to host the party to free, at the local park with a playground right here in town.

Crisis diverted? Slightly... but I am still sad. And the only reason i can think of is is not only now am i stressing about making their cakes (which is not a huge stress yet - i have like 3 weeks), but that I still miss my parents. My mom and 1 daughter shared a birthday, which is also father's day this year. Just the same as the year after my dad died.

*sigh*

With both my parents birthdays being in the summer, and both having died in the summer... i really hate summer.

Can it' be Autumn yet?